


you're gonna miss me when I'm gone

by Ec123



Category: Endeavour (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Fan Fiction, Late at night writing after binging on the show, Plot Twists, What I think happens, plot predictions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 16:32:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11536104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ec123/pseuds/Ec123
Summary: What will progress between Morse and Joan.'When you are old and grey and full of sleep,And nodding by the fire, take down this book,And slowly read, and dream of the soft lookYour eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;How many loved your moments of glad grace,And loved your beauty with love false or true,But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,And loved the sorrows of your changing face;





	you're gonna miss me when I'm gone

Morse squinted his eyes in the bright sunlight. His heart raced as memories of Joan Thursday washed over him. He remembered the first time he saw her as she was opening the door all those years ago- smiling eyes and a mischievous glint bidding him to come in; “Don’t stand on ceremony…”. Everything they had shared together was special to him and he was recounting it all in his mind now. As she exited the church; he took in every detail committing it all to memory of the delicate white dress, her dark hair shining chestnut in the sun, the true look of happiness as she gazed at her groom and held his hand tightly. She had never looked so lovely. Win beamed at the happy couple; proud of her daughter, happy that the daughter she had thought lost was found and moving forward, excited for what the future would bring. Sam looked smart in his uniform; a pretty young lady hovering close by; Joan had told him Sam had met someone. The three Thursdays smiled and posed for pictures; happy and seeming carefree , although Morse knew they were all thinking of and missing Fred at this moment and how proud he would be of “his Joan.” He felt the lump in his throat grow bigger. For a moment, Morse felt proud too, overjoyed even, before the pain started to encircle his heart. Maybe, he shouldn’t have come; but he had to see for himself and know the finality of this moment. He checked himself again, making sure he was hidden from view across the road. For a second, Joan stared off and away as though looking for something before turning back to her husband and laughing with him at something he whispered to her.

 

“You know, I thought for a second……almost…..all those times you walked me home”. The words echo in his brain. The pain grows more intense and he mourns what could have been. The last time he saw her was only a year ago. Fred was gone, Win had moved to be closer to Sam and her sister, and Joan was in and out of Oxford for work. She had stared square in his eyes and finally asked, “Can you give me any reason I should stay in Oxford?” Ironically, at another low point in his life, he could not and she had to walk away. What would have happened, he wondered, if he had laid his feelings out sooner or if she had married him when he had proposed or he had just told her the truth of how much he loved her? The loss hit him and he realized his mistakes too late. Taking them all in; he glanced one last time at the Thursdays. For a few short years, they had been some of the brightest spots in his days with Joan the shining star. He realized now he had loved the girl that opened the door, loved the scared girl that clung to him at the bank raid, loved the lost guilt stricken girl, and now loved the cautious but confident woman she had become. Morse closed his eyes then turned and walked away, carrying in his heart an image of the laughing smiling girl that had always invited him in.

**Author's Note:**

> This is maybe in the early 70's. He was probably invited and never answered the RSVP......After Morse creeps at Joan's wedding, he probably stays drunk for a week and then buys his red jag b/c he's not good with handling pain; especially pain from interpersonal or romantic relationships. The pain is so deep , he doesn't talk about the Thursdays or Joan again. He never defined anything and always kept her waiting around for him to get it together so she moved on. I'm sorry if this is sad or really bad writing. I may write a happier AU story where they get together; because they should.


End file.
